Dealing with deafening silence

The previous post was all about asking - the entrepreneur shouldn't be afraid to ask for suggestions, resources, contacts, office space and the ever-important funding. You can expect different responses of course, and maybe I'll cover them another time, but this post is all about a specific response: silence.

It was only after I started a company that I found out that many people seem to believe silence is an acceptable response in the business world. It's perfectly understandable as a go-to solution for invitations from people you want to avoid, especially when you're thirteen years old and haven't got the art of the white-lie down yet ("I'm washing my hair and it's a personal religious ritual"). And I am eternally grateful I can 'ignore' any number of requests and invitations on Facebook - I mean, actively getting a sense of closure by clicking 'ignore' instead of just sighing and looking away. No, this is not about silence as a avoidance technique in awkward social situations, where it definitely has a respected place.

In the startup world, silence as an answer seems ever so common. So you are introduced to a potential investor who wants your exec summary, your PowerPoint stack and maybe even a meeting. And possibly follow up emails asking probing questions on marketing plans and competitive pressures. All good. You're excited that there's so much interest and have kept pace, changing your pitch to answer the questions and doing rapid research to back up your claims. You think that even if there's no investment you'll find out what you need to improve, after all, you've been in almost twice daily contact if you count the emails. And then - nothing. A week passes. You give the investor the benefit of the doubt - he's busy, she's traveling, they have an offsite retreat. So you send an upbeat email, carefully worded not to sound desperate, and yet inviting a hit on the reply button. Still nothing. You wait another week and send another 'anything else I can do?' message. Nada. Depending on your fortitude, you could keep up the 'ping! remember me? what do you think?' one-sided messaging going on for quite a while.

This doesn't happen just when asking for money. You are introduced to a great customer referral and after the initial enthusiasm of demos and deep-dives, it all fizzles out. Or the candidate who thinks yours is the best company in the world who disappears in the middle of the interview cycle. It could even be the independent contractor who's dependably provided you with services (and been dependably paid by you) for a long time who seems to have gone off the grid and doesn't reply to your latest project request.

That's it. You don't get a 'No, not interested'. Or even a qualified 'Not right now'. Just silence. So what do you think/feel/do? First, don't take it personally. Or then again, do - in a good way. Use this to improve your own follow up and closing the loop track record. If you look back at your own actions, there must be someone you just plain forgot to respond to, even though you intended to follow up. It happens to everyone. Which is why it is perfectly OK to send a reminder or two - understanding, not accusatory, ones. And if that doesn't work, you should realize it's not about forgetting, but mostly about not knowing how to say 'no' gracefully and professionally without closing any doors. You could indulge in rants from "B-schools don't teach business etiquette" to creative name-calling, but that's not going to get you anything except heartburn. If you check out TheFunded.com you'll find many entrepreneurs who give props to VCs who reject their pitch quickly and cleanly, and it is likely this kind of feedback would have an impact - in the investor circles at least. So, if the reminders still elicit silence, it's time to stop reaching out. It's not about angrily deleting the 'silent ones' from your contact list - but instead adding them to the distribution list for your newsletter, or blog or other cheery updates about your business. Maybe they will click on one of these some day, see how you're doing, and get back in touch with you. After all, they never said 'No' and you know better than to close any doors.

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