Ask away

Entrepreneurs need to be comfortable doing all kinds of things, selling, managing (firing) etc., but one of the most important is asking. Last weekend I’d gone with my family to Gualala, a charming little town on the northern California coast, and we drove into town to have dinner and pick up a few groceries. This is a really a tiny town and we thought we’d have dinner first before the restaurants closed. There was one casual cafe, Trinks, that was supposedly closing in three minutes, but they offered to stay open and serve us dinner – which was super nice of them (more small town charm!). When I got the check I asked the waitress how long the grocery stores would be open and she said that they were all closed. We needed only two things desperately, a little milk to lighten the morning tea and a little butter for the morning toast (we already had the tea and bread), so I asked if I could have a bit of both. The waitress was helpful and cheerful as she had been all through dinner and gave me a couple of packets of butter and some milk in a to-go cup – and in return, I gave her a big tip as the tea/toast picture for the next morning had brightened.

So I step outside with the butter and milk and my family is collapsing with laughter at my asking for these ‘odd things’ from a restaurant. Eh, I said, it’s no big deal. After more chortling, they decided that’s why I could be an entrepreneur – I didn’t mind asking for things from anyone anywhere.

There's some truth to that. Entrepreneurs have to ask – for money, for resources, for team members, for references, and so on. I can assure you it doesn’t come naturally to everyone though. There are some who breeze along never having any difficulties with the ‘ask’. But way too many people are reluctant to ask for any number of reasons ranging from ‘I don’t know this person’ to ‘what if they say no?’. Really. What if? Many of us - by the way, I think more women then men have ‘askophohia’ - in our training to be well-mannered, have jettisoned the art of the ask.

But for an entrepreneur the end result of growing a successful venture should overcome any qualms about getting turned down, ‘looking funny’ or, even more likely, the perception that you’re giving up power by asking for something. So it is imperative that s/he gets comfortable with the fact that asking is pretty much the surest way to getting. And a ‘no’ is not life-ending. Three things that have helped me side-step mis-guided manners: keeping the goal in mind, knowing that most people are reasonable and open, and watching other successful people ask with ease and comfort. You can’t build a business if you’re uncomfortable asking. Doing it nicely helps of course, so ask away – even Miss. Manners would approve.