What's special about a New Year

Image courtesy of [Stuart Miles/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Why is the first day of the New Year so special?  It's not just the good times and watching the ball drop in Times Square even when you're thousands of miles away in a different time zone, though when you're young, good times may be all that you care about.  But, as you get older, you want more from the event than just the ephemeral experience of partying.  It is because the new year promises a new beginning and we all want another chance, if not for 'do-overs', at least for 'do-betters'.

And new beginnings require changes and big efforts require big changes. If you're already on an fitness program, it is not difficult to add another 15 minutes or do another routine, but if your exercising consists only of clicking your TV remote from the couch, starting to exercise requires you to change.  Change is difficult for many of us who've been conditioned to aim for comfort and predictability and avoid any chance for failure.  But change is life and as we're all changing in small ways even if we don't know it, we might as well sign up for the big changes that we can consciously make to get us to where we want to be and who we want to be.

Considering a change in 2014?  Check out this post from James Altucher.  Wild and crazy, but totally on the mark in its message.  Vive la change!

Post Thanksgiving

Thankful for the beauty of fall

(Excuse the small pun!)

It's still Thanksgiving weekend and even with the possible food coma, Black Friday shopping and overload of family and friends, we may still have a bit of the actual 'giving thanks' feeling lingering in us.  A glow of gratitude. A counting of blessings resulting in warm fuzzies.  After all gratitude seems to be the easiest, cheapest and safest drug to help fight stress, depression, anxiety, the general blahs.  So we can take a couple of minutes and extend the good vibes by giving thanks (skipping the attendant gluttony) for a few 'extensions' to the standard lists.

1. Family.  For sure we're thankful for our immediate family and sometimes our extended family (especially when they're at the table).  How about the many generations that went before us to make us who we are?  We may have names and occasionally faces for a generation or two (or, if lucky, three) before us, but just thinking of our ancestors and the place(s) they came from and imagining their lives gives us a much better appreciation for our own lives and times (where we can obsess about the selection of heritage vs. 'all natural' turkeys).
2. Health.  We tend to give thanks for our own and our family's good health if one of us recovered from something nasty, but we forget we stay healthy with exercise and diet. Give thanks to the fact that you can bike to work, or live close to a wilderness area with great trails, or your daily life is so full of activity that you don't need to 'work out'.  And many of us should thank our good fortunes for the plentiful access to healthy tasty foods (yay for farmers markets!).
3. Work.  While being routinely thankful for having jobs and incomes (sadly 'at least I should be thankful I have a job' is all too common), we could extend our gratitude to our coworkers who enrich our work lives, the mentors who help us out, the innovation around us (if we're lucky) and the sheer satisfaction of accomplishment which work of any kind brings to us.
4. Challenge.  We don't like it when the going gets rough.  We get hurt or disappointed by people.  We're frustrated when things don't work they way we want them to.  We're stressed when projects sputter at work or kids act out at home.  But, if you stop to think about it, you'll recognize that you grew and learned something from every one of these 'I wish it didn't happen' events.  The 'difficult people' and 'rough patches' that make you stronger and add texture to the tapestry of your life are worth your thanks.
5. Fulfillment.  The feeling that you've been of help to someone is right up there with gratitude as a happy drug, being 'fulfilled' is the best possible state.  So make it a double-shot, give thanks for all the opportunities you've had to be compassionate and of service to others. 
6. Fun.  If you're reading this post, you're one of the fortunate ones with access to the Internet and discretionary time (both of which are in themselves worthy of serious gratitude) and you probably get to do something fun maybe even on a daily basis.  It doesn't matter what it is - video games, cartoons, music, foodie fests, football, books, sitcoms, art, scrabble - you should give heartfelt thanks you're so lucky to be able to indulge in something just because it pleases you.
7. Beauty.  It is all around us, in the earth, the sky and stars, the creatures that share our planet, in the people of the world from babies to babushkas, in the ideas and artifacts we humans conjure.  It gives us joy, sometimes even when we're not aware of it and deserves gratitude for its presence.

That's it, a few extras for consideration in giving thanks - I don't feel compelled to make it a list of 10 (another thing to be thankful for).  What's on your thanksgiving list?

Nurture the nature

The prevailing conventional wisdom for doing pretty much anything, from losing weight to packing lunch or changing jobs, is:

1. There should be an article, or more likely a blog post, posted somewhere, anywhere.  Literally anywhere in the world, Singapore Times, Belize Bulletin, Capetown Courier.  Whatever.  Preferably shared on Facebook by your cohorts (not your parents' generation!).
2. It is neatly encapsulated into a checklist.  Something you can put (better yet download) into your to-do list.  There's an app for that?  Even better.  (There isn't?  Then build one!)
3. There's a study!  Some university doctoral candidates researched this very topic and published it in some journal.  Never mind that the topic could be as common-sensical as lack of sleep makes people tired and cranky (something you already know from past, painful experience), but hey, the study makes it worthy.  (Hope you're the type to check out the details, because studies can be, hmmm, spurious sometimes.)

Anyway, here's the thing to do (and the subject of this post): Talk to your kids about your family, give them the 'backstory'.

For generations this was something that was pretty much taken for granted.  Kids spent so much time around their parents, as well as grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins (essentially the tribe), that they heard these stories all the time (and probably rolled their eyes when hearing them as teenagers).  Genes were not enough to make a 'family' - being together and knowing about each other were needed.  You heard about grandpa running a grocery store not because your parents wanted to make sure you'd grow up believing you could be a successful tech entrepreneur, but because that was just part of your history.  And knowing the good as well as the bad was a given, because it showed that (a) things work out (b) families stick together through thick and thin and (c) there's probably a moral in there somewhere that nana just couldn't pass up in each telling.

We live differently now.  Our families are not close and in our hyper-competitive, uber-structured, always-on lives we need a strong reason (and peer pressure!) to take the time to tell stories.

• Want the article?  Here you go.   
• Want the checklist? Voila! Here's another article which lists the twenty questions your children should be able to answer.
• Want the study?  Mentioned in the articles above.

All these exhort you to talk to the kids and build a family narrative.  This is not just so you give your kid an edge in growing up to be a billionaire entrepreneur, an Olympic athlete or an arena artist.  It is so they can grow up stronger, more resilient, and happier in whatever path their lives take them.  It's not enough to pass on the DNA, but to nurture their nature.  Kids need to hear about the people around them, just ordinary folks (not celebrities), who've managed to live decent lives. This helps kids build confidence in their abilities to manage their own lives.  (I've seen it work for my friends' adopted kids too - maybe there's a study somewhere.)

But please, don't stick to those twenty questions - they may not be relevant, and worse, may just be boring. Twenty fleshed-out stories (like how your grandma's grandma drew water daily from the well when she was 90 years old or how your uncle traveled to Africa in the Peace Corps and never came back), may be more memorable.  Stories need to be told over dinner, on road-trips, around campfires, curled up on a couch on a rainy day (hint, hint, make the time to talk to your kids!), but e-books and videos are good backups (note: backups) too.  

I enjoy channeling my strong, independent great-grandma who survived being gored by a cow in her late eighties ("it was only a cow!") - do you have a story that inspires you?

To blog or not to blog

From its inception and growth in the late nineties, the blog has evolved hugely from being just a 'web log' suitable for early adopter geeks. Last year Wordpress alone (which accounts for about 49% of the blogs) had over 72 million blogs (2012 numbers from here) and that's not counting millions in China.  There are the professional corporate blogs and news blogs, the 'thought leaders' and self-marketing blogs along with the millions about anything and everything - causes, celebs, TV shows, pets, athletics, make-up tips, political leanings and of course, the ever-popular mommy blogs.  So should you blog too?

Restating it by replacing the word 'blog', the question becomes 'should you write too'?  The answer is 'yes!'.  If you need convincing, here's why:

1. Writing helps you think clearly (why 'critical writing' is - and should be - so big in schools).
2. You can be a teensy bit creative and shake up the right side of your brain that's in a dull stupor from the dominant data-drunk left side (especially in the past decade).

Done.  You're convinced that writing is good for you, and, even better, you're kinda enjoying the prospect of writing without having assigned topics, deadlines or report cards clogging your creativity.  You're ready to go and then you ask yourself 'should I write a blog'?  And then, to your dismay, you have your internal editor popping up with 'what if no one reads it?' and you stop right there, even before checking out the relative merits of Wordpress and Blogger.

Here's why you can disregard your anxious inner worry wort and embrace blogging:

1. There are free blogging tools.  
• So it doesn't cost anything to try. Failure is most certainly an option.
2. You don't need a large readership.
• You're not Huffpo. You're not blogging for dollars.
• If you need to blog for marketing purposes, you're doing it already (and not reading this).
• Give your ego a break and exercise your creativity instead.  
3. Someone WILL read your blog.
• Family will usually oblige by subscribing, and if your writing is interesting, they'll tell others.  Your mom will read anything you write, and grandparents and older family members would love to be connected to you through your writing - especially if they live far away. Be prepared for embarrassing Facebook shares.
• Friends would subscribe too, especially if you're writing about stuff they relate to - but don't push.
• Mention it to 'friendly' co-workers, but again, don't push.
• Believe it or not, if you're writing about topics that get Googled, and you do a few things to make your blog easy to find, you're likely to get random readers from random corners of the world, which makes it fun.  
4. You can hide your blog if you DON'T want your coworkers/boss/mom to read it.
• Yes, you can go stealth and share your blog 'by invitation only'.
5. It's a snap.
• The tools are super simple and you can even get help if you insist on it.  
• Write what you'd like to read.  Don't try to be someone else though, it gets tiring.
• You just have to pick one topic out of the many that you probably have rattling around in your head.  Your hobbies, passions, travel, pet peeves, kids' antics - all are good options for a post.
• If you want guidance, a search will bring up oodles of sites offering (free) advice on how to get blogging.

Jump in and join the millions (and my entire family) - start a blog (and tell me about it)!

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Study science with soul

The pendulum has swung.  First there was the hand-wringing that we didn't have enough graduates with 'hard' degrees - science, engineering, technology and math - now, recent news from  a Harvard study is about the 50% drop in the number of students in the humanities.  And the phenomenal rise in online learning shows vastly greater interest in computer science or business courses than in philosophy or anthropology.

Though my own major was in math, I was always attracted to the liberal arts, auditing classes when I could, and strongly believe that not only are the liberal arts fascinating, they are necessary for individuals, as well as society as a whole, to be complete.

Why?  Because:

1. The 'hard' subjects are all about the 'how' - humanities help us with the 'why'.
2. Calculus and compilers don't teach you about different cultures.
3. The past formed our present which informs our future (why history matters).
4. We need a moral compass to guide us through the unprecedented changes caused by medical and technological advances, from clones to drones.  Philosophy helps.
5. Art expands the mind (think different).

The United States holds the innovative edge largely due to its ability (so far) to pay serious attention to the arts and humanities, as well as the sciences - a fact that other countries are recognizing and working hard to emulate.  We're at a time when we can discuss the science of the soul as well as the soul of science.  We should embrace this kind of 'blended learning' and keep it going, don't you think?

Images courtesy of renjith krishnan & Simon Howden / FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

Time is money

A truism.  And some variations below, noted while waiting for a software fix ;)

1. Wasting time is wasting money.  
• Well maybe, for commercial endeavors.  Otherwise, wasting time is just that.
2. Spend money to buy time.  
• That works for personal and business 'work', from paying someone to clean your home to outsourcing your social media research so you have time for other things.
3. Your time is worth money.
• Depends on what you do with that time doesn't it?
4. Saving time is saving money.
• See #3 above.
5. Saving money is saving time.
• If it is time spent in making money, sure.
6. Spend time to make money.  
• Yup, if what you're spending time on is income-worthy.  Like polishing up your coding skills or 'networking' for consulting gigs or baking cookies.
7. Money is time.
• The reverse of 'time is money' though hardly anyone says that.  Maybe because of the perspective - if you're not hurrying up, you're losing money, but if you're spending money, you're what, losing time?
8. If you don't have money, spend the time.
• Assuming people who don't have money, will at least have the time - why students wait in line for hot concert tickets, and the rich pay the students to wait in line for them.
9. If you can't spare the time, spend the money.
• Again with the assumption that you're the kind of person who is more flush with cash than hours.
10. Money can't buy you time.
• Sounds like a contradiction to #2 doesn't it?  But this is about the time that you don't have at your control and is often controlled by nature, the time for stuff like healing.

Final thought: time is worth more than money.  Especially in relationships, ask any counselor (or mom!).  Spending time on the things you care about gives you experiences to savor, builds memories to cherish and long term happy feelings from both.  Wouldn't you agree?

Equal Value? 

Entrepreneurial attitude

I believe entrepreneurs are distinguished more by their approach to life than anything else.  Here are two stories I ran across recently that bolster that belief, of two very different people who exemplify the 'just do it' ethos of the entrepreneur.

First up, an 'oh wow' account from a young techie about how he went about making a new dice game.  It details how he went from concept to a game that is now ready to buy, pulling together whatever resources he needed (and learning a lot on what they were and how to find them) to make it happen - a departure from delivering software to delivering a physical product.  The 'oh wow' part is not only does the game sound cool, but that he took on the effort, and more importantly, the risk of failure, at building something new.

The second story is more of an 'awww...' one - an 89 year old woman (yes, 89!) who decided to pretty up her walking stick and seeing how everyone liked it, she started a business selling decorated canes to anyone else who wants a little cheer on their stick (cherry on the top - she raised expansion funds on Kickstarter!)  Here's a lady who happily plunged into entrepreneurship when everyone would be expecting her to be sitting back and relaxing in her rocking chair.

How many of us think of products like these and don't ever take them beyond a Sunday afternoon daydream spin?  These may not be ideas that "put a ding in the universe", "disrupt" anything or aspire to "billion dollar market caps", but their creators didn't let modest goals, lack of experience, or age hold them back from bringing them to market - and clearly, they had a lot of fun in the process.

Enjoy the stories on Happy Canes and Space Dice - do you have a story to share?

Image courtesy of Master Isolated Images/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The problem of solving problems

If you want to read upbeat, perky posts about the business of life and a life in business, you might want to subscribe to Claire Diaz Ortiz.  One of her recent posts was about problem solving and it  was definitely something I could relate to.

Claire suggests that you should ask yourself three questions before jumping into solving problems (I'm paraphrasing a bit): Is it really a problem? Do I want to do something about it? Should I do something now or later?

All valid questions, though most of us just jump into solving problems, or, more accurately, reacting to problems, without much thought, unless they tend to be big enough to warrant analysis before resolution.  But, if we do take the time to step back and consider problems, there is one important question that I would add to this list: Who owns the problem?

Answering the question of who owns the problem often changes the definition of, and the resultant solution to, the problem.  For example, you might say 'My coworker keeps eating chips half the day and the sound drives me nuts'.   Who owns the problem?  You might be tempted to say it's the coworker, but he's obviously having fun chomping down on the chips without a care as to what you think about it or what it's doing to his waistline.  It is you who owns the problem, and now the problem is not that he snacks on chips loudly but that you are bothered by it and might be better off investing in noise-canceling headphones.

Of course, if the problem is not owned by you, it can't be solved by you either - something that every parent should remember before taking over their kid's science projects.  Though I must admit there are some of us who actually enjoy solving other people's problems, way more engaging than grappling with Sudoku.  Ah well, we can't all be Dear Abby.

(Image courtesy of photoexplorer / FreeDigitalPhotos.net)