A surfeit of opinions

Everyone has an opinion. On everything. But that's kind of what you're betting on when you go out gathering 'input', asking for 'feedback', 'guidance' or 'advice' from the 3 Fs (in this case, family, friends and their friends - subbing for the 'fools' that traditionally play the third F). You're hoping that taking your idea or pitch to them will give you access to their knowledge, experience, smarts and plain good sense so you can vet it for free.

And you find you get a lot of opinions. You may be asked to 'wag the long tail' or 'take a page out of Facebook'. S/he may direct you to add more detail to your pitch, change your pricing model, go for more or less money, seek out VCs or pray for angels. Of course, seeking opinions is not just for startup entrepreneurs. A student could be asking for help on essay for college apps, an exec considering a career change, a book idea, whatever. And they're all just as likely to receive opinions that cover the gamut from minor tweaks to major re-dos.

So, now you have all these opinions, what do you do with them? Which ones do you take to heart? There are a few things that you can do to help handle this over-abundance of input.

1. Listen. Obviously whoever you share your plans and ideas with is someone who you think will have something worthwhile to say. So, once you're done showing the presentation, explaining your idea, sharing your essay or novel outline, stop talking and start listening. Ask questions to get the ball rolling if you have to (have they seen anything like this before?) but make sure you get what you want - their unfiltered opinion.
2. Give them credit. If your advisors suggest stuff you've already thought of, it is OK to keep that to yourself and show your appreciation. Having them involved in your idea is a good thing.
   
3. Do explain. If there appears to be some misunderstanding about your offering, that in itself is good feedback - it shows that you need to refine it so there's no chance of confusion. To repeat, if you choose to ask someone for advice, you obviously think they're smart enough to get it, and if they didn't, it implies that something got lost in the presentation.
   
4. Do not defend. If your advisor thinks your market strategy is nothing more than a shot at lucid dreaming, ask him why. If you have some more information to share that may change his thinking, go ahead and share it. Otherwise, there is little benefit to arguing a point. Assuming he understands what your proposing correctly, maybe he has a valid point. You're better off with a 'Good point. I'll think about it'.
5. Keep notes. I'm personally inclined to look at people when I talk to them and when they talk to me, so I keep key points in my head during the meeting, but I do write them down later. These are helpful even months later, because a lot of the feedback is often predictions for the future.
   
6. Assess before you act. One person may ask for another slide describing your technology while another thinks you have too many already. Sometimes feedback may be on something more strategic - your funding sources for example. Before you jump to changing your PowerPoint after each meeting, think about who said it and why and how it fits in with your vision. Don't make changes that don't sit well with you.
7. Keep an open mind. We all get defensive, protective and just plain huffy if someone doesn't see our idea as great as think it is. Entirely understandable. But there's something to be said for seeking some level of detachment and assessing the input dispassionately. The people who're giving you the input are not dimwits (see a pattern here?), so taking their feedback seriously and thinking through it can't help but improve your idea. If nothing else, it will help you strengthen your story as you'll know how to respond to naysayers.

Is it possible to have too many opinions? If you're past the early stages of vetting and refining and you're feeling pretty solid about what you have, maybe you can dial down the opinion gathering to avoid TMO. But you probably won't ever turn it off - just move to another topic.